#éponine‚ writings.

[smallblueandloud]

i've been thinking a lot about cyrano de bergerac adaptations recently

because, okay, a lot of times your weak point is gonna be the central conceit -- the letter writing. what kind of situation do you need for your cristian to agree (to ASK) a guy he barely knows to spearhead his courtship?

i'm not nearly enough of a scholar for this, but i've read that the original play existed in an intellectual era that meant it was actually plausible that roxane would reject cristian if he wasn't well-spoken enough. but that's really hard to transfer to the modern era! especially because you want your audience to be FOND of roxane, instead of kind of. side-eyeing her as a snob.

roxane (1987) gets past this by... well, first off, being the kind of nerdy movie that snobs enjoy, but secondly by making christian awkward around women -- SO awkward that he freezes up around them, which also very neatly explains the letters thing.

because that's the other problem! why have letters when you can have text messages or even dates?

the letters have to come from the inability to woo in-person -- the issue is that modern AUs don't have the built-in reason that a courtly-love story does. i haven't seen the half of it, but i know it's set in a high school, and damn what a good way to work in the letters thing. Talk About A Context Where You Don't Control Who You Spend Time With !

back to cristian and cyrano. the main choice to make, with regards to the letter-writing conceit, is who brings up the idea. in the play, it's cyrano -- hearing cristian's dilemma, he recognizes it as an inverse to his own. it's a very crafty (and self-serving tbh) choice, and it leaves room for cristian to doubt the arrangement and even try to take control pre: balcony scene.

iirc roxane (1987) has christian suggest the scheme -- implying that he doesn't care HOW roxanne falls in love with him, just that she does. (this is either naive or purely an attempt to have sex with her, depending on how you read the movie.) i've never been a fan of this choice. i think a big part of the appeal of cyrano are his flaws, including him butting his nose (ha) into something that he really shouldn't be involving himself in. on the other hand, roxane DID ask for his help... he's a layered guy in terms of morality, okay.

anyway, i guess it depends on how you want to characterize both your cristian and cyrano. how does your cyrano's arrogance manifest? how much agency do you want to give your cristian -- and, again, what kind of guy lets a rando take command of his own budding relationship?

[shitpostingfromthebarricade]

Lesbian knight lesbian knight 👀

XD This one never got past the planning stages, but basically, the Thénardiers were conmen who stole princesses away to hide them in castles, with their plan being to wait until their parents put up a hefty ransom and then auction off the ransom/dowry to whoever offered the steepest cut. Éponine caught wind of this and began helping the princesses escape, except once her parents discovered what was happening, they put her in her own castle to keep hee out of the way. No big deal, she escaped there too, and after she became her own free agent knight.

The fic was meant to open with Éponine now having a reputation for rescuing princesses from castles whose parents will marry them off to whoever rescues them (it's become a common marriage scheme among parents for second and third daughters who might otherwise seem like less of a prize to marry). Most of them are grateful to be out of isolation, but some of them are just as taken with Knight Éponine as they might have been with any other knight rescuing them in earnest. Éponine is, of course, flattered by their advances, but not interested.

At the end of the fic, she returns home to flirt with the local blacksmith who repairs all of her weapons and armor, Cosette. (Pre-dating? Post-marriage? Hadn't decided!)

If this speaks to you, @racetrackthehiggins actually did an AMAZING job on a very similar premise I requested that you can read here! Will I ever finish my own version? Hard to say, but Zade's doesn't leave me longing in any way. <3

[lumi-wumi]

promoting my les mis server again!

Hi, friends!

If you'd like to join a really nice space for Les Mis fans, please like this post so I can send you an invite! We are mostly a rp server but you're welcome to just hang out as well. We're also open to new roleplayers if you'd like to try it out! :D

[farfadetfarfelu]

Victor Hugo : "What happened can be told in few words"

*proceeds to talk about it for a whole page*

[a-roseinmisery]

hear me out... au where the Thenardiers have a casino instead of an inn...

[peoplesing]

@vocespraeterita. ( for javert! )

she's grinning; a rare occurrence, something that only happened on better days. this must've been one of them, for her teeth are bared in something other than malice.

❝ miss me? ❞

she drops into the seat beside her papa, clapping a hand against his shoulder with a laugh as she does so. she had good news. she was happy. éponine knows for a fact she'll have another night with a full belly, her brother and sister are safe, and that her presence is wanted. it was more than she could have possibly ever thought to ask for.

❝ monsieur alexandre has hired me as a sweeper. ❞ she waits a beat. the smile grows. her jaw aches from the foreign feeling. ❝ the pay isn't much to start, but look! ❞ the girl's hand immediately goes to her pocket, fishing out a wrinkled ten francs. she drops it onto javert with a triumphant smugness. ❝ not too bad for a past thief. now, how's my old man doing? ❞

[ineffable-gallimaufry]

days 22 (lost), 23 (flowers), and 24 (girls of les mis) for @lesmis-prompts

[ronniesart]

ALERT ALERT I UPDATED MY EPOSETTE FIC AFTER FIVE MONTHS

[lellarps]

"You may consider him under my protection." (prompt) // Éponine and Enjolras

Éponine didn't like it when Gavroche meddled in matters that weren't meant for him. The revolution talks, especially.

Don't be mistaken: she took pride in her little brother's will and bravery, the way he could simply handle himself; but such things, although necessary for the freedom of the people, were also most likely to get him killed sooner rather than later.

She could ask him to stay away. But she knew better than to pretend he'd be an obedient boy and keep himself away from any turmoil.

And that's why Eljora's words were a small ease to her heart.

"That's very satisfactory to hear" she said. Her worries weren't magically wiped away, but she rested assured in the guarantee Enjolras was giving her. He was a man of his word, of course. And more honorable than most she knew, she supposed. He'd do what he could.

"You see, he is street-smart and acts all confident..." but he is still a child. "Sooner or later he is going to give me a heart attack, I swear" her laugh was sort of awkward, humourless. "He admires you very, very much, you know? Of course, he is too cocky to admit"

After all these years, Gavroche was the little one she still considered family, as scattered as their blood was.

[nortism]

fuck it, fan casting the les misérables muppet movie:

fozzie bear as jean valjean - idk it just feels right

sam the eagle as javert - just look at him, that’s javert

any human as fantine and cosette. i deliberated over who should be the human but i think this is the right choice so there’d be at least one person present throughout most of the story

kermit and miss piggy as monsieur and madame thénardier - i considered them for marius and cosette but i feel like it could be interesting to have them in a villian role. also having a human child being abused by miss piggy is very funny to me

miss piggy and kermit’s children from a muppets christmas carol as éponine, gavroche and azelma - it writes itself. also i find the idea of éponine being a really sad pig to be very funny

beaker as marius pontmercy - i want him to only say meep meep meep throughout the whole film and i want human cosette to be incredibly in love with him regardless.

bean bunny as enjolras - yeah i don’t have an explanation for this one

gonzo and scooter as courfeyrac and combeferre - courfeyrac as gonzo feels so right to me in a way i can’t explain. also combeferre is there idk

rizzo as grantaire - idk it just felt right

[smallblueandloud]

what about you? asks Marius in a text, several days later. how’s your week been?

Éponine looks up from her phone to watch Cosette, her head thrown back, laughing at one of Montparnasse’s jokes.

She thinks about typing it out: I think I’m falling for your girlfriend. She thinks about saying: well, I haven’t had time to do much besides writing love letters about you. She thinks about throwing it all to the wind and admitting: sometimes I love you so much that I forget to be afraid.

Cosette’s hair shines in the late-night lamplight -- she’s grinning like nothing in the world could ever be wrong. For a moment, Éponine almost believes her.

oh, you know, she ends up sending. same old, same old.

-

Éponine is fucked.

[shitpostingfromthebarricade]

i would love to hear about the scarlet welly boots and/or lesbian art heist

Scarlet Welly Boots was inspired by The Amazing Devil's "Welly Boots," with the premise being an epistolary of "letters" from Cosette to a deceased Jean Valjean keeping him appraised of things in her life and asking him the questions she never got the chance to ask. The story would follow her through the pitfalls of adulthood without a parent figure there to guide and her trials and struggles as she figures out who she is and makes peace with everything that happened.

Dear Dad,

I had my driving exam today.  I passed!  I’m so excited, but it’s weird, because it doesn’t seem like a big deal to anyone else.  

You’re dead now, so it feels petty and annoying to blame my current failings on you, but apparently most students in the US start receiving instruction from their parents from 16, if not before.  I know we took public transit and walked when we could, but we had a car — we had my car, even.  It never occurred to you to talk me through the things you were doing?

It's a premise I really wanna revisit and make work, but at the time I was deeply unhappy with how it was panning out and decided I would need to read more and grow as a writer before I was ready to handle it the way I wanted.

---

Lesbian Art Heist had its first draft around 80% finished before I noticed a MASSIVE plothole that would require a total rewrite to correct for. I'd been writing it for a fic exchange (despite wanting to write the base premise since I first encountered it), and with the deadline looming I ended up abandoning it and drafting up Favour instead.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art is a fucking nightmare to smuggle things into for the same reason it’s a nightmare to steal things out of: the place is a glorified vault. When her father had organized the team to steal Degas’s Little Dancer of Fourteen Years, ninety percent of the plan had been causing enough confusion that Montparnasse and Claquesous could move the damned thing out to the main gallery and get it through a sky window without drawing too much attention. In the chaos, Éponine had managed to get Gueulemer to unwittingly help her steal a New Kingdom Egyptian collar from storage that, with any luck, won’t be missed for several more months, and, much more regrettably and almost as an afterthought, one of the Benin Artifacts from where archivists had already packed it up.

Her ears still ring from the phantom pain of Cosette’s anguish that Éponine hadn’t known that the Benin Kingdom was not located in the modern day country of Benin. Look, if six weeks of standing around in the Exhibition Room with them hadn’t told her this, maybe it’s the fault of the exhibit.

Her one saving grace in all of this, Éponine thinks as she takes the now-familiar route up the stairs to where an exhibit on 20th century American jewelry has now replaced the Benin Artifacts, is that they don’t seem to realize yet that they’re missing one of their artifacts. It had, of course, been the logic in the last-second swipe: already weighed, measured, and repackaged, no one would know to miss it until the artifacts were already on the next leg of their global tour, at which point museums would be pointing fingers at the movers rather than assuming it had never been there to start.

‘Germany only finally returned them four years ago!’ Damn, maybe not-Benin shouldn’t have been loaning them out so soon then.

‘You have to return it.’ Éponine thinks the fuck not.

(The plothole had to do with underground tunnels, I'm still Big Mad about it.)

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

All right it's been a couple days it's time for me to analyze parts of the musical (I don't care if my takes are old news I am giving myself endorphins ok????)

What I would like to focus on today is Jean Valjean's part in the reprise of "A Heart Full of Love." I'm particularly attached to this moment because it's how the musical represents his letting go of Cosette, which is one of my favorite scenes in the book (the box?? The box, anyone?????? "And they were all each other had in the world"?????????), so when I first heard this I already knew I was going to melt. But there are so many little details that just KILL ME

First of all, he's singing in counterpoint by himself while they duet (and they don't even know he's there). He is musically isolated and, while not opposing their harmony per se, contrasts it with a melody of his alone

The melody he uses is itself heartbreaking. He sings "She was never mine to keep" as a reference to the WORDS AND MELODY OF ÉPONINE ("He was never mine to lose") IN THE FIRST INSTANCE OF THIS SONG AS SHE MOURNED MARIUS, THE OTHER PART OF THIS COUPLE. (Also love how, in this moment as well as others, the song gives familial love as much value as romantic love, which is why it's so heartbreaking that Jean Valjean feels he's being left behind!) If you listen, JVJ is actually singing her melody and then harmonizes with what she had sung; he is united with Éponine, foreshadowing his death as well as showing his grief

He keeps doing this through the rest of the song. "Love is the garden of the young" mirrors Éponine's "Why regret what could not be?" (AUGH!! PARALLELS!! PUT THEM IN THE SAME SENTENCE) and his "Let it be" is in harmony with her "Not to me" (AGAIN!!!!)

And then. This is the part that really gutted me and made me write this post. When they notice him, he adopts their melody and lyrics as they move past them. He sings "A heart full of love / This I give you / on this day" and they harmonize without him...but they're not just melodically moving on. Their rhyme scheme is totally different. They're rhyming on "all" and similar sounds; his final word, "day," doesn't rhyme with anything they're saying or that he's said.

And then you look back at the start of the song, where you find the only rhyming lines: "I will never go away / And we will be together every day."...

Jean Valjean is rhyming with Cosette. As she sings the words he desperately wants to hear.

But she did not sing those words for him. He's trying to hold onto her, but his heart full of love is no longer the one she wants most. It's too late to rhyme with her; he is alone. And all he can do is look back to the past and think of when she was just so tall, and they held each other's hands...when he would sing, "I'll always be here / Where I go, you will be."

[dykevillanelle]

how les amis and co react to the olympics being in paris

enjolras: cutting the fuel lines of the boat that’s supposed to carry is**l

feuilly: cutting the fuel lines of the boat that’s supposed to carry the USA

combeferre: does not know it’s happening

bahorel: can Only talk about that it’s happening

courfeyrac: becomes patriotic for exactly the length of time it’s happening

éponine: bookie supreme (assisted by gavroche)

joly: street medic for violent rail strikes

bossuet: editing fancams of popular athletes for instagram

marius: only watches gymnastics and swimming

jehan: somehow in the olympic village getting railed

cosette: writing blog posts about team uniform aesthetics and what they say about the rise of fascism

grantaire: in the olympics for the most obscure sport ever. no one finds out until the broadcasts start airing, except for enjolras and feuilly because he’s the one that let them in to cut fuel lines

[breadvidence]

Remember when I used to write out adaptation reactions? Well, I sure did watch Les Misérables 2000, and—wow! What an impressively bad piece of television from all directions. I find it deeply compelling and will doubtless watch again. The folks of this year's Les Mis Letters on Discord were treated to my live react. Here, I'll simply outline the high (?) points:

The plotting is bad. This is a curious accomplishment, on account of it's based off of a novel that—despite its length and digressions—has a coherent, tidy, and driven sense of plot. LM2000 fails here, I think, for two reasons: 1) the chronology is wobbly, which creates disorientation for a viewer trying to track events 2) it freestyles subplots but doesn't make alterations to the overall story, resulting in the new material feeling disconnected and meaningless. I am totally fine with adaptations being creative, but when Robert in '52 is a more coherent and meaningful addition to the story, you might have gone wrong.

The acting is bad. So many of the cast members seem tired—I'm a fan of Malkovich, and I think he's interesting here, but he's peculiarly exhausted in his delivery. Steffen Wink (who plays Enjolras) stands out as being enthusiastic (bizarrely), and Asia Argento as Éponine sometimes aspires to be a Hermine Karagheuz in her delivery, but overall: they were definitely handing out downers instead of uppers on this set.

The dialogue is bad. We have all of us writers been journeymen once. Most of us, as journeymen, did not get to script professionally produced television. Good for whoever landed that job, I guess, despite the pain they caused me. And—y'know—despite my love for the fidelity of a '25 or '72, I do not demand an adaptation quote Les Misérables. Further, I understand that the subtitles I was provided with are, with all appreciation for the person who made them, a little wonky. Regardless of both these things: lord, do these characters say some dumb shit. If you haven't watched it yet, wait 'til you get to yellow is the color of happiness.

Did you want a Jean Valjean who is violent, brash, dim-witted, and a sexual predator? Me neither! Given rumors and accusations surrounding Gérard Depardieu's personal conduct, quite possibly he's chosen to play the role as a kind of self-insert. Most adaptations go the "I don't know, I guess this is a story about redemption?" route, but here's LM2000 boldly asking instead: what if criminals are inherently evil? (We could talk about the ways in which '98 and BBC 2018 share this fault—but I cannot emphasize the degree to which Valjean in LM2000 is, ultimately, a villain, which is not at all true for either of those.)

No, really: Jean Valjean is a villain.

Really.

So: a character who makes unambiguously morally bad choices like locking up and wanting to fuck his daughter I wouldn't always call a villain per se—that implies a role in the story as well as being a value judgment. However, even though the show tries to preserve the final moment of Marius' realization that Valjean is his savior and a good man, we the viewer know he is not. We have seen him be menacing, be violent, be controlling, be nasty, we know that Marius was correct to want him separated from Cosette. He's a Bluebeard, and the story of LM2000 knows he's a Bluebeard, it treats him as one, even as it gets incoherently tugged back to being Victor Hugo's Les Misérables and hits emotional beats it hasn't earned and doesn't really want to have.

No, really: Valjean wants to fuck Cosette.

Really.

At the convent, Cosette lets down her hair to indicate to Valjean she will visit him in the gardeners' hut that night. Valjean rhapsodizes to Fauchelevent—in a rare case of Depardieu's acting reflecting that there's a beating heart in his chest—about her beauty. The Mother Superior is shown to equate letting down one's hair to sexual availability. We then cut to Cosette and Valjean in bed together. Their dialogue refutes that they fucked because otherwise it would be very intuitive for the viewer to assume they did so. This viewer remains unconvinced they didn't. I was spoiled for the explicit incest (Valjean, as part of his confession to Marius, makes it clear that his interest is sexual), but I would've known at this moment where the relationship was headed.

You could read this Cosette as an interesting representation of how people who experience abuse can become attached to their abusers, particularly where isolation normalizes the relationship for them. Or not.

They could have given the show the tagline Javert Shows Up. Where's Javert? He's giving Fantine financial advice soon after she becomes a sex worker. He's at the Sergeant of Waterloo asking little Cosette if she's OK because he got lost on the way back to Montreuil. He's at the convent interrogating the Mother Superior. He's in the university as an undercover student telling the Amis not to rebel. I'm used to Javerts showing up where they ought not (at Valjean's release from Montreuil and to the Rue Plumet, mostly), but this version (with an air of exhaustion) is everywhere.

Malkovich and his leather coat are—perhaps unsurprisingly—my favorite part of this adaptation. I like his expressive forehead, his futility, his absurd and unsettling slow walk into the Seine (it's silly—then Malkovich shivers). In precisely one moment LM2000 manages to have an unusual flash of insight into the novel compared to other adaptations: Javert, during the Montreuil era, declines to explain to a colleague/superior (I fail to recall and I refuse to re-watch in this moment) what precisely he's on to—he's career-focused and embodying the artistic desire not to "brush the bloom off the rose", notes lost in television and fandom alike.

I am trying to wrangle the thematic implications of Javert coming from a family who hunt criminals—something about blood and history as destiny? Is LM2000 so invested in the idea of criminality as inherent that an upright police officer being the child of criminals is discordant? Is it simply fucking stupid? I don't know.

I would urge any viewer to anticipate and enjoy the Legless Wife, who is the symbol of Javert's moral awakening.

Really!

Yes, I should say: don't bother watching this, pals. Except: if you are real intense about Les Mis, watch lots of adaptations, and enjoy bad media if it gives you something to chew on, I won't actually say don't—in part, yes, because I like the idea of others suffering with me, but also because this version has been an enriching experience. It prompted bafflement. Confusion. Distress. Contemplation of why you would take a story about the flaws of society and make it about the flaws of a man, and how this is merely an amplification of how the story has been told again and again since its origination. More confusion. An ineffable calm effected by Malkovich's voice. Hilarity. Anxiety. So much! So bad! And yet—yes, I'll watch it again. Despite itself.

[peoplesing]

éponine open starter.

❝ what does he see in her? ❞ her voice is thicker from drink, lower in her throat; her half-lidded eyes stare contemplatively at the glass bottle she’d already drank three fingers from. her hands lightly drum on the tabletop, impatient; perhaps more at herself, if anything, before éponine speaks again. a nasty storm was brewing tonight, it would seem.

❝ is it her curly hair? her pink cheeks? her wide brown eyes? oh, i could just scratch them out —! ❞ she all but hisses, her voice garbled in her chest, each syllable drowning in gin — and self pity.

❝ i hate — no, i couldn’t hate her — you can find a girl like her down at the docks, any day or night. a bourgeois, two-a-penny thing. she doesn’t know better. ❞ bitterness seeps in, and to chase it she takes half a swallow from the bottle growing more empty by the hour.

she spares a glance across the table, her eyes flickering dangerously in hardened anger and frustration. at least she wasn't alone.

❝ i should really hate him. why is he so blind? i have been a fool. what did i ever do to him, except for care? i don’t understand. i don’t, ❞ she laments miserably, finally passing the bottle over to her companion. ❝ i wish i could make marius see. but he only sees what he wants to. ❞